First, please visit http://www.brabandproject.com/. This website demonstrates that 'small' bandsizes and 'large' cupsizes are normal and they look a LOT different than what the media, lying bra stores, and others lead people to believe.
DO NOT TRUST VICTORIA'S SECRET. Or most stores and websites, for that matter. If inches are added to the ribcage measurement to get the band size (with the exception of possibly adding one inch to round odd numbers up), do not trust it. This method is very outdated. Originally, bra bands had very little stretch, and therefore, inches had to be added to the ribcage measurement. However, bra bands now are generally quite stretchy, so adding lots of inches rarely works. As discussed below, there is an extremely slight possibility of adding inches being okay, but please try on a bra that doesn't have added inches before concluding that a too-large band is 'close enough'.
Does it make sense to put a 32-inch band on a 28-inch ribcage and expect support? Nope! But most companies will try to convince you that it's 'a great fit'.
Most of a bra's support comes from its band. This may be surprising, especially if you're one of many women who keeps your straps as tight as possible so that they dig into your shoulders. This should not occur in a properly fitting bra. Wearing a bra that fits, the band should be tight enough that it holds your breasts securely and uplifts them. If you slip the straps off your shoulders, your breasts should still be held up well, and least while you're stationary.
You may have been told, when you first started wearing bras, that discomfort is 'normal'. That pain is 'normal'. That bras are 'supposed' to itch and cause a rash and dig into your skin and fit oddly and make your shoulders and back hurt. That you'll 'get used to it'. Is that really how our world is? "Women don't deserve support and comfortable undergarments! All they deserve is this; it's the best that can be done, and they had better get used to it!" That suffering is NOT, in ANY WAY, okay. We deserve better. We deserve support and comfort. With the right bra, it is possible. You need to be determined. Don't listen to what they say. You may have to custom order, get alterations, pay hundreds of dollars, and just generally suffer through the process. But you CAN find a bra that fits right. And a bra that fits right will alleviate your pain in an amazing way.
Your bra may not seem to be causing problems for you. But it most likely is. Many women go most of their lives without wearing proper bras, and they don't notice. They've been told that they should be wearing a certain (wrong) size, and that's what they wear. They've gotten used to the itching and rashes and super tight straps digging in, to the point where they don't notice them anymore. They've concluded that the rather strange shape they have in their bra is caused by their 'weird' breasts (often, a poorly fitting bra looks rather odd). They think that constant back, neck, and shoulder aches are something that everyone has, or they are so used to the aching that they don't even notice it at all. They assume it's difficult for everyone else to sit up straight, too. Even if you don't think you're feeling uncomfortable or looking weird or aching, you probably have at least one of these problems and no longer notice it. But with a properly fitting bra, you WILL notice the absence of the problem(s). Pain you never knew you had will go away.
To find your true size:
BAND SIZE
It's a lot more logical than crazy inch-adding methods may have you believe! :)
Take a measuring tape and remove your top. It is usually best to remove your bra as well, although with pendulous breasts (like mine) it may be difficult to measure without a bra.
Measure around your ribcage directly under the base of your breasts (do not measure at the point your breasts gravitate down to; measure at their base). Make sure that the measuring tape lies flat across your back and front, parallel to the ground. Don't strangle yourself, but measure pretty tightly. Take note of the measurement in inches.
Round to an even integer, as bra bands only come in even inches. This is your band size estimate!
If your ribcage area is somewhat squishy, and your measurement changes greatly when you measure very tightly, it may even be beneficial to go down a band size or two from your tight measurement in order to gain extra support. If your ribcage area is more bony (like mine, and like most other small-ribcaged women), you probably should not go much tighter than what you've measured. It is best to wear the tightest band that you can wear comfortably, because tighter bands offer more support.
Some women with bony ribcages actually go up a band size for comfort. This leads to less support, but for some women, it is the best option. I recommend trying a tighter band for at least few days before using this method. If you still are experiencing discomfort, it may be better for you to go up a band size. However, this should be used with caution, as less support can lead to the pain and discomfort symptoms of a bra that doesn't fit.
Please reference where I discuss below that measurements aren't always exact, and different brands may run tight or loose.
If you measure at a band size much smaller than what you're used to, remember that too-small cups can actually make the band feel tighter. This is because the breasts may take up space where the band is meant to be, stretching the band over or around them. Trying on the bra backwards, with the cups on your back, can help to judge the actual tightness of the band without the cups interfering.
CUP SIZE
A common misconception about bras is that cup size is absolute, regardless of the band size. This is terribly wrong. Again, please reference http://www.brabandproject.com/. To the side are some images (I take no credit whatsoever for them) (note that the collection of G-cup images uses European band sizing, which is different than UK sizing and uses centimeters). Band size should be found first, and cup size is based off of it.Cup size is found by measuring how many inches bigger the breasts are than the ribcage. This is done by measuring around the fullest part of your breasts.
Proper cup measurement is debated. Some claim it's best to measure with a thin, non-push up and non-sports bra on, while others say that no bra at all should be worn. Some suggest bending over so that your back is parallel to the ground to take the measurement, while others advise standing straight and tall. All of these options may give you different measurements and different cup sizes. The shape of your breasts also may affect the measurement. Many women take multiple measurements and average them together.
Just like when measuring for the band size, try to keep the measuring tape parallel to the ground. Also keep it flat against your back. Remember to measure around the fullest part of your breasts. Pull the measuring tape tight enough that it lies flat against your back and is touching your breasts, but do not allow it to compress your breasts at all. It's okay if your measurements are a little bit rough; again, different measuring techniques will put you in a different, so you may have to try a few (or a lot of) bras in different sizes before finding one that fits. If you have already been through the measuring process before and have a well-fitting bra, I recommend trying each type of measurement mentioned in the above paragraph and averaging the results. If you do not have a well-fitting bra, I recommend measuring bending over and standing up without a bra and averaging those results, without measuring with a bra on.
For example, with my bra off, bending over so that my back is parallel to the ground, the result is about 37.25 inches. With my bra still off but standing up straight, it's about 29.5 inches. Because I have a fairly well-fitting bra, I also measure standing up straight with my bra on and get about 34 inches. Therefore, my average measurement is roughly 33.5 inches, which is about 7.5 inches more than my roughly 26-inch ribcage.
Once you have measured, many charts exist online that state what inch difference between your breasts and your ribcage constitutes what cup size. Unfortunately, in DD+ cup sizes, different companies call the same sizes different names, especially within the US, so it may be best to look at the chart for the particular brand of bra you are purchasing before buying. Different countries also use different sizing systems; most women who wear the correct size, including me, prefer UK sizing, as the UK is the home of most reliable bra companies and knowledge. Herroom.com has a wonderful 'Universal Cup Sizing' (UCS) system that helps to alleviate the confusion of different sizing systems, with a handy chart comparing different brands (although certain bras in the same brand may run big or small, and the shape of your breasts greatly affects what size you should wear in particular bras). (Please note: Herroom has a great selection of bras and a great UCS system, but their adding of inches in their sizing guide generally leads to ill-fitting bras.) Here is their amazing UCS chart: http://www.herroom.com/full-figure-bra-cup-sizing,905,30.html. Note that they begin at a D cup. This is because cup sizing for A, B, and C cups is much more standardized. Generally, a 3 inch difference is a C cup, 2 inches is a B cup, 1 inch is an A cup, and less is usually an AA cup; some women wear AAA cups.
If you try on a bra and it feels wrong, it almost definitely is wrong. Just because a fitter says it is your size does not mean that it is. Just because you usually wear a certain size does not mean that it will work in every brand and style. Just because you are told 'it fits great' does not mean that it does. Just because your measurements say you should wear a certain size doesn't mean you really should. This is key. The measurements give a GENERAL IDEA about your size. Usually, if you measure properly as I've explained above, they aren't more than a band size and a cup size or two off. However, there are exceptions. If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not right. According to most quality measuring systems, I should wear around a UK 26FF. However, I actually should wear around a UK 26GG. I am not wrong, and I am not trying to 'pretend' I have bigger breasts than I do; I just have a breast shape and composition that fits the best in a 26GG. Breast shape and composition are very different from woman to woman. Some are pendulous, some are saggy, some are perky, some are soft, some are firm, some are full-on-bottom, some are full-on-top, and on and on and on. Different brands and styles of bras are made differently; a girl who wears a 30H in one Panache bra may fit better in a 32GG in a Freya bra, or maybe even in a different Panache bra. Calculators and measurements are used as a STARTING POINT only; what matters is how the bra really fits on you and your breasts. :) That being said, please do not think that your current bras are okay just because you no longer notice any pain. Please try a bra in the size you get using a quality measuring system as discussed above. From there, you may want to try a slightly different size, or your measured size may be perfect. Please don't trust the companies (like Victoria's Secret) that lie. :( :)
Keep in mind that the size of your breasts will likely change over time and may also change due to the time of year or month. Your ribcage measurement will also probably vary. It is recommended that you remeasure every six months or even more often. :)
To recap:
-Don't trust those who add inches (except in special cases)
-Most support comes from the band; straps should not dig in
-DD+ is normal (and below that is normal, too :) )
-Band sizes 32 and lower are normal (above is normal, too :) )
-Bras should not be uncomfortable
-You may not notice the pain until it's gone
-Your size may be different in different brands/styles and countries
-Many women wear an incorrectly fitting bra in close to a sister size of their true size
-All breasts are shaped and composed differently
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